《異鄉人》與《拾香紀》

一、 在十幾個冬夜間，斷斷續續地讀完陳慧的《異鄉人》。 說來也奇怪，《拾香紀》1998年出版，評論和讀書報告在網上到處都是； 同一作家，用上《拾香紀》的人物 ，在端傳媒連載近兩年，卻好像沒有甚麼迴響。

據說陳慧有另一短篇《歸回紀》，也是《拾香紀》的續篇，曾在2013年7月的《字花》刊出。我得知時，已過了一年多。那時正好在港，便往書店查詢，理所當然地得到缺貨的答覆，後來便不了了之。 《異鄉人》結局在去年3月發佈，我卻在十個月後才無意中得悉。這樣也好，可以免去追連載的麻煩。

二、適合引用的金句很多，以後或者會陸續在臉書近況出現。

三、陳慧筆下的角色好像經常會遇上突如其來的不幸。急性腦膜炎、車禍、被襲擊而破相、還會無來由地陷入昏迷。有時會覺得，無非是劇情需要吧。但又想到不幸本就每天都在發生。

四、 也許是因為讀得零散倉促，細微的伏線沒有留意到，感覺機械降神也用得太多了吧。例如連城，他的安排就不止一次出乎意料地幫助不同的角色化險為夷。恰與他在大環境下的無力感互為對照。

後來無意間讀到陳慧在HK01的訪問，她談到「其實整個世代是沒有『爸爸』的，沒有人擔得起領袖，沒有一個『Father Figure』，最後一個可能就是華叔（司徒華）或者陳日君」。但這終歸只是在寄託上疊加的隱喻。

五、「今天是二十號。」

六、騰芳和林佳興之所至，想去香港的對蹠點，也就是穿過地球中心的對面，地上離香港最遠的地方。那是北阿根廷胡胡伊(Jujuy)省北部，Pozuelo湖東面，和山脈之間的高原地。谷歌地圖顯示，當地離香港20,015公里。從衛星照片看來，是一片褐色的荒漠，上有扇形的乾涸河床作點綴。以北不夠30公里處，便是玻利維亞邊境。從中環到羅湖，距離也是差不多30公里。

在2016年的夏天，我曾經離香港的對蹠點不夠200公里。那是在玻利維亞烏尤尼鹽湖風景三日團的第二天，大雪紛飛，車窗外只有白色和灰色。早上在途中的雜貨舖買了一支紅酒，是玻利維亞他利哈(Tarija)附近高地的產物。午後雪停了，但終歸走不到原定行程中有溫泉的國家公園，唯有折返，在某村莊裏一個沒有暖氣的旅舍過夜。在寒夜裏，和一位朋友把紅酒喝了大半支。

或許是高原種植的緣故，紅酒很甜，有砵酒的味道。

玻利維亞塔里哈的紅酒和筆者。攝於2016年7月8日。

七、有朋友曾經用aniDa的《回憶就是愛》做Xanga背景音樂。當時只覺得不明所以，後來才知道是《拾香紀》舞台劇主題曲。

八、我以前有一本《拾香紀》，是在序言買的。當時和幾位朋友在一起，正猶豫買不買，一位說這書值得放在書架，便付了錢。據聞，當下這位朋友也在同一城裏，卻從沒碰到過。

那本書已經不在倫敦。只記得是借了給兩位朋友其中之一，而他們現在都住在台灣。 也有已遷離倫敦的人借過書給我，現在還在書架上。

九、我曾推介某人讀《拾香紀》，讀後感是「很悲傷的故事」。我說，不全是呀，八寶和馮志華那一節就相當樂觀浪漫。
- 只是那陣時而已。
- 你想說，兩人在八八年成婚，在影視蓬勃的年代任職無綫劇組，時人還未知道後事如何，所以讀來才覺幸福美滿，是這樣吧。
- 也可以這樣理解。
- 時移世易，也是沒辦法的事。

在《異鄉人》，我們終於知道後事如何。在CEPA簽署之前那年，「小津默默吃着茼蒿菜，聽着姐妹們圍爐議論八寶的丈夫，憑他的辦案經驗，早肯定這位在大陸拍電視劇的導演確是有了外遇。

「小津將想法如實說了，八寶衝前奪去他的碗筷，五美、七喜也無法將八寶擋住，末了八寶開門將小津逐出去。」

至於馮志華有否曾在台上領過獎項，又有否將榮耀歸於八寶，我們不得而知。

十、
「林佳這才留意到，走過的路，都是焦土。
十香不知何時停在林佳身旁。十香說，爸爸說過，好人步步生蓮。
林佳說，只是人要走過去，回過頭來，才知道身後是花還是焦土。
十香說，如今你想回頭去收拾嗎？
林佳黯然，如果，當時，勇敢一點，就好了。」

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• 臉書連結
• 《異鄉人》在端傳媒連載的開首
• 《拾香紀》(Oocities存檔)

(LBWE-E05)

旅蛙

朋友說最近在玩一個可愛的手機遊戲。不是旅行青蛙吧，我說。是啊，你怎麼知道的。我說，我沒有玩，不過在臉書和各網媒上看來，最近好像在香港和大陸都相當流行。

然後想到，或許對於某些在香港的朋友，在下也是類似旅行青蛙的存在：不時回港，出現，短聚，然後又離開。間中會寄出各地的風景明信片。也不用怎麼打理，連熱水壺和便當也不用準備。又想起，上個月交換聖誕禮物時得到水壺一個，也是好的。

於是我也領養了一隻電子青蛙。本來打算把牠喚作Edmond，但程式只允許五個字元，唯有用Eddie代替。

牠今天出了門，寄回來日式城堡的明信片，今晚就已經回到居所，想必是相當近的地方吧。看着牠安靜地喝湯，竟然想起不少驚慄電影開頭的時候，也是一片寧靜祥和。平靜水面下也許藏著暗湧。可能忽然有天，遊戲設計者就會讓青蛙就會一去不返，或在螢幕上橫死街頭，就像一些電影導演所創作的一樣。

剛才留意到三葉草園上的天空是一片深灰色，彷彿滿佈密雲。據說，越美麗的東西越不可碰。

遊戲擷圖，2018年1月31日凌晨。圖中可見深灰色的天空。

臉書連結

好的壞消息

今早起床不久就收到消息，祖母已經離世。

說起來也不是毫無預兆。兩個星期前的周末和家母例行通電話的時候，就提到祖母最近進了醫院，叫我寫張問候咭寄回香港。那個星期俗務纏身，連周日也沒有好好休息，心想，都96歲的人了，近兩三年才不時進出醫院，買咭的事便一再耽擱下來。到了星期五，才在公司附近的小書店買了咭，草草寫了幾個字，便以普通空郵寄出。之後的周二聽說祖母已經出院，猜忖並非急症，便沒有再多想。

昨天下午在工作的地方忽然收到家母來電。然後得知祖母心臟曾經停頓近半小時，剛打了強心針，等等。之前好像沒有聽說過她心臟有問題啊，我想。說着說着，話筒中的聲音開始帶有哭聲。

女人，你為甚麼要哭呢。病床上的人是在下的血親，而我並(還)沒有哭啊。

話筒好像被遞到祖母耳邊。我不知道該說甚麼，唯有當是平日閒聊一樣，說些日常瑣事。但沒有聲音從電話網絡的另一面傳回來，就像對着空無一人的課室說話一樣。連我的聲音有沒有傳到她耳中，我也不確定。如是者三四分鐘，家母的聲音又再出現。各自交代幾句之後，便掛了線。我回到工作桌前繼續做要做的事。工作不多，又不想太早回到住所，便又約了朋友下班後去加拿大水吃越南菜。

吃完飯回到居所就傳短訊回港，問候情況如何，然後去洗澡。但到連頭髮也吹乾了的時候，回訊還沒來到，便去睡覺。半睡半醒之間好像聽見手機震動的聲音，堅決不理。

身在倫敦，自知沒甚麼事情可以做；而我更明白，當一個人沒甚麼做得來的時候，唯一可以做的事，就是不要麻煩在場的人。

今早醒來，發現昨晚是別的朋友來訊，於是一一回覆。不久家母就打電話來，第一句便是「我有個好消息，不是，應該是壞消息要告訴你。你祖母已經離開了這個世界了。」
我看了看鐘。「其實我昨晚已經想到。這是好事。她活了九十六年，最後在醫院逗留了不夠一天就走了，大概是平日積德的福報。」從家母的語氣推斷，這也是大家在醫院等消息時達成的共識吧。
「況且大家都趕得及過來。」除了我嘛，我聽得懂的。某位親戚在台北，不知有沒有搭早機回港呢。
「祖母生前信佛，最好做佛教儀式，不用找道士。」

又多談了幾句，便掛了線。

憑經驗推斷，問候咭大概會在禮拜五送到。有沒有人收到拆開，我不知道，現在也不需要知道。咭中有可以撕出來的紙製掛飾，大概是讓收信者掛在病榻旁邊的，如今大概也用不着了，真好。

Attribution of Blame

I was to catch a train today, and before that I had to pass something to a friend at a tube station on the way. I allowed around 20 minutes of buffer in my journey time.

My friend was late for about 10 minutes. Then I got on the tube, missed a stop, and had to go backwards from the next station, which wasted another 10 minutes. I managed to catch the train only seconds before it departed.

Now in the (relative) comfort of a train, I start to wonder, what if I had missed the train? Who should I have blamed?

A. My friend.
B. Myself, for missing the stop on the tube.
C. Myself, for not allowing enough buffer time.
D. All of the above.
E. None of the above.
F. Blaming is not good. I shouldn't have blamed anyone or anything.

Discussion on Facebook

在九龍塘站看路線圖的人

多謝Queenie(臉書/個人網頁)穿針引線，明報玲子撥冗越洋致電。那天本來預計談十五分鐘的，怎料到在地鐵站外面東拉西扯有的沒的，竟然談了差不多一整個小時，浪費了別人的時間，實在不好意思。昨天讀到明報報導，我凌亂的思緒竟能整理出四百多字來，文字也比我寫得好多了，喜出望外。

文中的我說，「我也許像在九龍塘站轉車，站着看路線圖的人吧。」可能因篇幅所限，有點突然。在本來的對話裏面，我說，Queenie攝影展所描述的「半移民」，終歸是一種暫時的狀態。我很難想像，再過十年，照片裏居所的住客都三十到尾的時候，還能保留這種心理狀態：或者會安定下来，融入在此/彼邦的生活；或回港發展；或搬到另一個地方去。要不然——我希望不會——變成一個「海外港人」，腦中只有回憶中而不屬於當時的香港，也有可能。但「半移民」的狀態，我說，大概是一個中途站吧，大家都在這裏轉車，但除了在荒野中露宿的人，沒有誰長久停留的。

我這樣言不及義地說了一陣，大概連玲子也不耐煩了吧。「那麼，你呢？」我靜默了好幾秒，腦中想起有17個轉車月台的Clapham Junction車站，繁忙時段平均每30秒有一班火車經停時的資訊顯示板。然後又記起某年冬天一個下着冷雨的凌晨，在捷克波蘭邊境，多條鐵路交匯的小城Bohumin站轉火車的情景。但總不能要玲子給讀者讀甚麼Clapham Junction、甚麼Bohumin的嘛。於是說，我大概是在九龍塘的轉車人潮裏面，看著路線圖，在尋找適合路線的人吧。

「香港朋友來訪，說起前陣子去了巴黎，竟然想在那幅地圖上找巴黎，香港人看見香港地圖都不認得！」講緊你呀 Malee 😛

「周慕雲也是拖個篋就去新加坡了。」這應該是《花樣年華》的情節。當時沒有想到，他三四年之後就重臨舊地，我一走卻就是八年。我還沒去過吳哥窟。或者也該找個機會去。

掛線時我習慣性地說了句「have a good day」，然後又覺有點突兀。便問，對不起我忘了，在香港掛線時通常都說甚麼。玲子說，她也不肯定，大概是「得閒飲茶」吧。

係囉，得閒飲茶吖。

在Bohumin轉車。自攝於2011年12月18日凌晨2時14分。

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臉書連結
明報：《居英半移民 唔上唔落時》

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展期：27.8.2017 – 2.9.2017
地點：香港中環史丹頓街35號
時間：星期一至五 7 - 10pm | 星期六、日 11am - 6pm

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試問嶺南應不好

English version

某次Queenie有事來倫敦，在我家暫住。晚飯閒聊時她忽然轉用認真的語氣，說在我家做了一些事情，希望我不要介意。我以為是打破了玻璃杯之類的小事，便說，不妨直說呀。原來她在公寓的不同角落拍了照片，打算辦一個專題攝影展。這個我當然不可能在意呀。然後她問，可不可以幫她聯絡一些在倫敦工作，與我們份屬同代的香港人朋友。我說，我盡量試試。

事情就是這樣開始的。然後，我一一回想起在英國住過的地方。

我是在2009年考過高考，去倫敦讀大學的。第一年住在校方營運的宿舍裏面。是七層高，有地庫的大樓，名為「堤邊屋」，就在現代藝術館Tate Modern的後面，步行上學需時大約25分鐘。是大概百餘方呎大的單人房，地上舖了灰藍色的地氈。偌大的房間裏放了一張單人床，感覺有點空虛，不過總不能抱怨這個。米白色的牆上貼了幾塊正方形的小鏡子，相信是前人在宜家買來的。租金相應地貴：我現在還記得，那是每日£20.27；八年過去，想必又上漲了不少。

堤邊屋 (2009-2010)

校方只保證在學第一年的宿位，之後就要抽籤。我沒有抽到，和兩位香港來的同學合租了個三房一廳小單位。大廈在校園附近，以紅磚建成，樓高四層，是1905年建成的公共房屋，現在也是英國二級保護建築。我們的居所在3樓，沒有電梯，出入都靠樓梯上落，不過很快就習慣了。為了省錢，我選了最小的房間，安排成上床下枱的格局，還算不錯。屋邨內廣植樹木，秋天到來時滿樹滿地都是紅葉和黃葉，相當漂亮。不過終歸是沒有住下去，我和其中一位朋友搬到市中心外的施查佛。

邦邨理登樓 (2010-2011)

在宿舍時，有新加坡和葡萄牙的朋友，他們都在房間裏掛了本國的旗。大二三之間的暑假我去了香港書展，經過地政總署的攤位，便買了一張香港全境地圖，貼在新居客廳的牆上。是兩房一廳的單位，窗外的景色從大樹變成了停車場，遠處還有瑪莎的霓虹燈招牌。那年和室友初試調酒，我常會自製長島冰茶，貪其用料平易：可樂、檸檬、再加上四種不同的烈酒，都是家常之物。試過在淒冷漆黑的冬夜，一邊獨酌，一邊看著街燈在濃霧中打出昏黃的圓。當然這是例外：在不安與無助之中找工作、報碩士和讀書，才是當年的常態。

Queenie也是那年認識的。她和另一位朋友來英旅遊，打算在聖誕前後在我們處暫住幾天感受氣氛，就搭飛機到北部去。寒暄沒兩句，就實在的告訴他們，英港兩地法律風俗都不同。在這邊，所謂普天同慶，是店舖關門、火車地鐵停駛、巴士服務暫停，大家都回家過節的意思。我們煮了火雞、開了香檳，寧靜地渡過佳節。

斯查佛者利拉花士坊公寓大廈 (2011-2012)

大學畢業前一直把持不定，工作有在找，碩士課程也有在報。最後離開倫敦到別處繼續學業時，學院的宿位已滿。我被分配到城市外圍的一間獨立屋。屋有兩層，外牆白色，不過門前有大樹，又種了頗高的灌木作籬笆，站在路上也不易看見。地下有個獨立的一房一廳單位，權充教員宿舍；餘下的部份劃為一個大廚房，一個大廳，八間大小不一、租金不一的單人房，和三個共用的洗手間。門前有大家泊單車的小車房。對面就是新落成的數學研究所；屋友之中，只有一位不是數學系的。屋後有很大的草地，據說夏天在那裏燒烤相當悏意。不過那年的冬天很長，四月還在下雪，之後又忙於考試、寫論文，只好錯過。門前的路名為格勒臣道，外出轉左則是威伯福斯道，均以十九世紀的廢奴倡議者命名，二人同在本城一學院出身。這裏已是城市的盡頭。走過大學運動場，便是大片的麥田。晚上踏單車回家的話，常會看見滿天星宿，大概也是地處偏僻，光源稀少之故。

劍橋格勒臣道 (2012-2013)

然後回到倫敦工作。第一個月寄居在遠房表姐家，一邊工作，一邊和朋友找地方租住，最後又回到施查佛區，在一座公寓大廈的4樓安頓下來。是兩房一廳的單位，客廳有落地玻璃，窗前就是倫敦地鐵的車廠和訓練中心，感覺相當空曠，還可以遠眺金絲雀碼頭一帶的摩天大廈。我們購置了紫色的地氈，屋友又添置了咖啡機和榨汁機，就這樣住了兩年。

施查佛哈靈士碼頭公寓大廈 (2013-2015)

兩年前搬家，又回到大學三年級曾租住的公寓大廈，連樓層也一樣(1樓)，只是門牌號碼有所不同。這就是Queenie紀錄的浮光掠影所在。

另：之前聯絡上了一位剛過三十歲生日的朋友，可惜Queenie貴人事忙，最後未能前往她家拍照。她後來看見攝影計劃介紹中「二十出頭，三十未立」一語，問是不是年齡歧視。呃，呢個問題，我哋先交返比主辦人士.......

Places in the UK that I lived in

中文版

A while ago, Queenie was staying at my place in London. While we were having small talks over a supper, her tone suddenly became serious and said she hoped I wouldn't mind something she did in the afternoon. I thought she probably broke a glass or did something similarly minuscule, and said, go ahead, just say it. It turns out she had taken a set of photographs in the flat and had this idea of starting a photography project. Of course I wouldn't have minded. And then she asked me to connect her with Hong Kong people of our generation who are working in London. I could try my best, I said.

This is how it started. And, inside my mind, I started to recount all the places I've been a tenant in the UK.

I did my A-levels in Hong Kong and went to London to read a degree in 2009. In my first year in university, I lived in Bankside House, a residential hall run by the School. It was a seven-storey high building complete with a basement, right behind Tate Modern. It usually takes me around 25 minutes to walk to school. It was a spacious room - perhaps just over 100 sq ft - carpeted with a subdued hue of greyish blue and with a single bed. It almost feels empty and too big, but I suppose I can't complain about that. My predecessor attached a few Ikea square mirrors to the otherwise plain walls, which were painted in a kind of white-ish cream. The rent was accordingly high: I could still recall that it was £20.27, and it must have gone up quite a bit over the eight intervening years.

Bankside House (2009-2010)

The School only guaranteed accommodation for first-year students; a small number of hall places were allocated to second- and third-year students by ballot, which I had no luck with. I rented a small 3-bedroom flat with two other coursemates from Hong Kong. The flat was on the third floor of a Grade-II-listed red-brick four-storey building in a council estate, which was built in 1905 to resettle former residents of Dickensian dwellings which were being cleared at the time. It had no lifts and we had to use the stairs every day, which we get used to sooner than we thought. To save money, I chose the smallest room, bought a loft bed and placed a worktop beneath. There were many trees in the housing estate. In autumn there were glamorous red and yellow leaves. But we did not stay long there, and the next year I moved out of central London, to Stratford, with one of the friends.

Ledam Building, Bourne Estate (2010-2011)

When I was in Bankside House I had Singaporean and Portuguese friends who had their respective flags on the wall in their rooms. In the summer between my second and third years, I bought a large map of Hong Kong from the Lands Department's stall at the Book Fair. It later became a prominent feature of our flat's living room that year. It was a two-bedroom flat with a view of a car park, plus a multi-storey car park behind it, and a Mark & Spencer's neon sign afar. My flatmate and I started to make cocktails that year. My favourite was Long Island Iced Tea: its ingredients - coke, lemon, and four different spirits - are all kitchen staples. Once, on a cold dark winter night, I was sipping from my glass on my own while I looked/stared at the amber circles that streetlamps make in the heavy fog. Of course, this was an exception of my life: the norm was to seek jobs, apply to master's programmes and study in a general feeling of unease and being lost.

I also came to know Queenie that year. She was travelling in the UK with a friend of hers, and the plan was to stay at our place for a few days and have a feel of the festive atmosphere in London around Christmas before they fly north. While our small talk could still be described as 'brief', I told them honestly, the UK is not like Hong Kong. The law and the customs are different. Over here, Christmas is also celebrated by all - and that's why all shops would be closed, all train and bus services do not run, and everyone spends time with their families. We did not have family with us, so we roasted a small turkey, opened a bottle of champagne, and quietly celebrated Christmas in our own way.

Gerry Raffles Square, Stratford (2011-2012)

I was quite lost when it comes to what I should do after graduation. I applied to three master's programmes and quite a few employers. When I finally made up my mind and decided to do a master's outside London, there were no rooms left on college site. I was sent off to a white two-storey house away from the city centre, which was fairly well-concealed from the road by some tall bushes and a big tree. A teaching fellow and his fiancée occupied the one-bedroom flat on the ground floor. The rest of the house was divided into a big kitchen, a big living room, three bathrooms, and eight single rooms of varying sizes. There was also a tiny garage where we park our bikes. All but one of my housemates were mathematicians, as we were opposite the new Institute for Mathematical Sciences. Behind our house, there was a large garden; I heard good things about the barbeques that had happened on the grass there, but I sadly missed it: the winter was long that year - it was still snowing in April - and I became too occupied with my exams and thesis when summer finally came. The house was on a Clarkson Road, which leads to Wilberforce Road if I turn left as I leave the house - both were named after 19th-century abolitionists who went to the same college. This was truly the edge of the city: if one walks past the University Sports Ground on Wilberforce Road, he comes to the sight of endless fields of wheat. The sky was so dimly lit that I could see not only stars but constellations, whenever I cycled home on a cloudless night.

Clarkson Road, Cambridge (2012-2013)

After I finished my master's, I returned to London and started working. I lodged at a second-degree cousin's place in my first month while I was looking for a place with a friend. And we again ended up in Stratford, in a two-bedroom flat on the fourth floor. It has a large floor-to-ceiling window with a view of London Underground's repairs facilities and training centre and Canary Wharf's skyscrapers further afield. We bought a purple rug, and my flatmate added a coffee machine, and we spent two years there.

Hallings Wharf Studios, Stratford (2013-2015)

I moved again two years ago - back to the apartment building I once lived in when I was in my third year in university. I even stayed on the same floor (1/F) - only the door number changed. And it was in this apartment that the lights and shadows Queenie so artfully immortalised once happened.

P.S.: I tried to put Queenie in touch with a friend who just turned 30. Unfortunately, Queenie had her diary fully packed, and couldn't visit her place. My friend later read "aged 20-30" in the description, and enquired whether she was excluded because of her age. Well, I'll hand this question back to the organiser...